DAY 9

Christopher Columbus, Time and Road Racing

Last night the team decided to dine Italian style with fine pastas in mind Matt searched for suitable eatery’s on his phone. Matt aka Christopher bloody Columbus stated there’s one seven minutes away along the level and flat Douglas promenade the four walked following our self appointed navigator. A right turn was taken up what can be best described as a road bearing incredible likeness to the North face of the Matterhorn. Without the benefit of Sherpas or a Stanner stair lift the butterball twins of Dee and Monkey laboured, stopping frequently to hurl verbal abuse at Matt and Bowie up ahead. Eventually after this arduous assent the chunky twins reached the top bitterly disappointed to discover there was no roadside Defibrillator unit on hand. It’s just around the corner announces Matt who without compassion or an ounce of empathy had negligently failed to call said restaurant to enquire if they have a free table and if the staff were medically trained? Arriving at the restaurant the team we greeted by a rather surly Italian waiter who with a look of distain on his face stated “she is full tonight we no feeda you”. There was some unpleasantness within the team thereafter, in précis Matt’s seven minute walk was measured at 35 minutes, the route mountainous as it was had failed to pass a single bar offering hydration and our goal of a pasta dinner was denied. Thereafter Dee and Monkey took over route planning choosing a downhill pathway to a pub and then a promenade level eatery. After this mammoth walk the restaurant was devoid of Italian style fare, never the less the team dined pausing occasionally to berate Columbus. A party on the next table enquired about our quest upon seeing our branded polo shirts and after Dee gave them a flyer kindly donated a stunning £50 to our fund. During dinner Monkey left the table to get a fork, immediately Dee and Bowie pounced on his plate contaminating it with serviette. The Mad Monk upon returning to his seat then proceeded to stab Dee multiple times with his fork in the forearm drawing blood then eating his dinner with the very same fork. It is now painfully apparent to all that Matt’s relationship with time is tangible to say the least. Standing outside the restaurant at the Douglas ferry terminal end of the promenade the team viewed our accommodation location at the opposite end of the front. Come on lads it’s a seven minute walk back announces Matt, 43 minutes later with several stops for Monkey to dive on to the beach to retrieve stones to throw at Matt the team was home for the night. The belief that the only time measurement understood by Matt is seven minutes and that statement bears no relation to distance or timescale by normal means of calibration is agreed by the majority.

Meeting at 0800 the team set about changing Matt’s front tire which was badly distorted, 30 minutes later Matt’s steed was re-shoed and ready to roll. Along the promenade is a fine cafe that provided our breakfast, once fueled the four set off for the TT grandstand. Here it was agreed we’d do two laps of the mountain course, the first to reconnoiter and take images, the second being the hot lap. After quite a few Kodak moments at iconic points on the circuit at Ramsey hairpin the real test started. The climb up-to the summit of Snaefell just beyond the Bungalow tram stop. Stopping at the mountain top cafe for a brew the four we content that the arduous haul up hill was complete. The run down to the grandstand complete Matt left the trio to sit on the seafront and answer his mounting work emails. Stopwatches set the three set off on the hot lap with much place swapping over the course, to avoid spoiling the betting on our time all I’ll say is that by gentleman’s agreement the boys reached the grandstand together.

With time to kill after meeting back up with Matt the four set off to Murray’s motorcycle museum at Fairy Bridge south of Douglas. The exhibits on display were impressive as was the information provided by Mr Murray and his staff, highly recommended to those visiting the Isle of Man. With the mandatory wave to the fairies at Fairy Bridge the four set off back to Douglas for a fish supper at the legendary Port Jack Chippy. Fully refuelled the four rode to the Douglas Ferry terminal ready to board the evening ferry to Heysham. Mileage travelled today 96 miles how long 37.739 of those took you’ll have to wait to find out.